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You have to face it, you fucked up and now you have the rest of your life to carry the debt you created
And thank you for the shot at freedom
And bless you for the chance at redemption
No need to conduct a eulogy for me, I’m a shit human being and deserve to be buried alive in memories of dirt and snow
You don’t get to have that love you read about
You’ll never earn that love you dreamt about
There is a desert for you, built from the blueprints of a retched soul
You can claim that as your heart and soul
She was willing to uproot, replant anywhere
All you had to do was provide the soil
But men like me can only provide an uncertain plot
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I never meant to threaten you with heaven
In the cold you could cling onto me and split a flask, muttering about the weather
In the heat I could come home to you on the couch with your feet on the head rest in front of a fan
Fainting there, looking at me with desperate eyes, thinking I could help
It’s a fantasy I don’t mind coming home to
I’ve seen Aries rise, give birth to fruit deadly to eat
Then I became part of something that I feared, left to die here
I know parents don’t want to hear that their creation is better off in death
But with great pain, comes great creativity
It’s a fantasy, no more and no less
It’s a book that’s left open on the nightstand
It’s a lesson that’s been learned when all the students have cleared the room
You look at that man you share a bed with and you cry yourself to sleep
We’ve made the chef taste his own meals, he needs to know what he’s been serving to his guests
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Not trying to be remembered as “King Regret”
It’s for anyone that makes a mockery out of failure
Not the best thing to be known for
My newest fear is being spread too thin and not delivering on all my promises
It’s an island residence
Any bridge there has been burned
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You've been allowed to pass over.
It's been brought down to their level
And I wonder if he knows how much his father is proud of him.
These aren't gifts from god, but something man gives himself.
You'll no longer have to kill yourself over this anymore.
As if a light came down and you ascended to the new frontiers.
The rebirth, the chance to swim in clean waters,
The first visions of the holy, the men in cloaks before him.
He once had that pain held Mortmain,
As the body returned to soil, his presence went with it,
As did her memory and the final brush with death
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I need to make our blessed captors worship our ground
I’m bored with waiting
And I’ve fallen down, face up towards the sky
Begging for the grip to be loosened
I don’t need any love that you might have to offer
I’ve lost the map and went off on my own
Your trail is cold
Make the bed before you leave
Guests in this home require special care
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Then there is point when you realize you’ve played your hand
That kiss means it’s over
Lie down and let the earth cover you
Life goes on, it’s a process of elimination
You’ve wander through the desert long enough
And there will be those who look upon you with disgust when you desperately grab for your first drink
Nothing will beat that rush of excitement when you called me to get off on my voice
Sneaking behind a parked car
Hiding from your husband to talk to me
Now I settle for the flesh attached to anyone
and I still go to bed hungry
I’ve lost count and interest
There’s futility in defeat
There’s a weight lifted from letting go
I’ve lost and I’ve gain something from it all
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There’s no more secrets left between us
What come home to rest is the antiquated idea
We’ve adapted to the point of no return
And I’ve lost my keys to my parents’ home
Shame becomes less of an issue and you live your life for yourself
We’re capped off as it is and this our natural response
We eat to feel nourished and full
Why starve yourself any longer?
Pull up a chair to their table - they already prepared your plate
Eat up
Are you that man that makes people envious?
Are you of good stock and breed?
Maybe the bids will rise when you flash that smile?
I liked that kid, he had heart
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Save me the salesman pitch, some country habits die hard
But I’ll sleep easier with the doors locked
In all those photos I can see your wedding ring
I wanted to appeal to your intellect, find out if you can fuck as well as you claim
I’d soon welcome you back into my life
I’ve been the guilty pleasure
I’ve been the secret shame
But never the proudest moment
If you’re his goal, you’re his endless runner
In my version of events I make myself out to be the bigger bad guy
Because I’m a monster and I’m a god damn coward
I remember nothing and that man paid to keep the records had split his earnings and ran
Nothing left but for us to sort out the mess that she left behind
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You should let the dead man sleep and come home to whatever fantasies he wants to
It’s those nights that have a way of creeping up, causing you to sneak out of your window in a panic
You’ve got that stack of books and I’ve got this need to skip town
We can coast on charm and good luck
I never had it so I’m due for it now
It’s some sort of dream where you’re chased and you wake up in some foreign place
Oh my darling, my little slice of life
We’ll never be anything more than slaves to the trade
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Our grand plans were just a way for us to pass time
You have a transition period and I was your driver
I picked you up and I dropped you off a few years ahead of schedule
And there was no Will to stop me
The most dangerous thing you can give a man is hope
And thanks for all the hope you gave me
Now I’m just as paranoid and desperate for love as I was before you ever took a bite
You think this road leads anywhere?
I thought our signs told us to go this way?
You came out of that fog with a bouquet, it was just for me
It was just for me
We grabbed and scratched at the wishes for some sort of escape, one last big score
Flee north and make this your new home
Now it’s on fire and it snows for much longer where I come from
To the victor go the spoils, I’ll play the role of the revisionist
But I wouldn’t call this anything more than a poor man’s draw
Flee north, make this your new home
Thanks for all the hope, Rachel…
Flee north and make this your new home
Flee north and make this your new home
Flee north and make this your new home
Flee north and make this your new home
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Live on air set, record at WFMU for Wm. Berger's show "My Castle of Quiet" on February 5, 2014
Limited 12" coming this summer
released August 1, 2014
